Down the Rabbit Hole
by Princess Zathura
Summary: The darkness is all around me, clouding my vision, who am I to deny it anymore? I fell down a hole while looking for an escape and the next thing I know I'm living my dreams in a fantasy world. I finally have the control I've always wanted, but will I use it? Am I willing to hurt others for my own selfish dream? Warning: Mentions of depression, angst, suicidal thoughts, ect.
1. Chapter 1

**Wow, it's been quite a while since I've written anything, hasn't it? Well I'm still around. For this story I'm going to specifically ask for no flames as this will have a lot of references to the depression I've been facing for the last year. Don't worry, there will still be plenty of humor in this story, but be prepared for some serious moments as well. **

**I've been meaning to write this for a while now, or at least something like it, but lately I haven't been able to write anything but annoyingly depressing and obscure poetry. So, without further ado, please enjoy my very first Kingdom Hearts fanfic!**

* * *

Falling…

Falling…

Falling…

So dark…

So cold…

I'm drowning.

I awoke with a start, desperately gasping for breath. With one hand clutching my heart, I checked my phone before collapsing back on the bed. Only four AM. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wishing to see. The darkness was all around me, engulfing me, swallowing me whole. All I wanted was to go back to sleep, but something was there… Waiting in the darkness. Or maybe it was the darkness itself waiting to consume me. My depression was killing me from the inside out, all I wanted was freedom, and freedom was something I could find only inside the safety of my dreams, but the darkness had penetrated those too.

I buried myself in my sheets, desperate to once again find my dreamland, but I too on edge to sleep. I could feel something watching me, waiting to strike. I hugged my pillow to my chest and tried to keep myself from crying again. It would be morning soon. Whatever it was wouldn't come for me tonight, I was still too strong. The Goddess was on my side.

It was with those final thoughts I let the darkness wash over me, this time not as the enemy, but as a friend, floating me to my lost land of dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

It was raining outside; a perfect day to sleep in, unfortunately school was calling my name and it was a call my mother just wouldn't let me ignore.

"Are you planning on going to school today?"

"Not really," I grumbled. Another night of fighting my demons had left me completely drained of energy, and getting out of my bed was entirely too much effort, at least, until my blankets were ripped from my body and scattered to the four corners of my room.

"Nooooooo…" I whined, even less willing to leave my bed though blindly grasping for my lost heat. My mother flicked on the light switch and grabbed onto both of my ankles, effectively dragging me from my once cozy little nest and onto the floor.

"Whyyyyy?"

"It's only Monday."

"That doesn't make me feel any better!" I hopped up from my place on the floor and threw myself into the closet, pulling out black t-shirt after black t-shirt until I found the perfect one.

"What do you think?"

"You need a new wardrobe." I made a face,

"Oh, come on, there's stuff on the shirts!"

"Yippie, pointless references I don't understand." My mom flopped down on my bed, "You'd better get a move on if you don't wanna walk in the rain." I rolled my eyes at her but complied nonetheless.

* * *

"Have you ever wondered what language animals think in?"

"You sound like you're stoned." I flicked a curly fry at Kimmie.

"You look like you're stoned."

"I always look stoned."

"And yet you never are."

"I could be." Before I could respond, Anya pounced on me from behind.

"Bitch."

"Wow, you're pleasant today, late night, Babydoll?"

"You know it."

"What happened this time?"

"Nothing."

"You sure?"

"I'm fine."

I'm always fine.

* * *

"Julie, can we talk?"

That was when I saw them first. The shadows. Usually I didn't see them outside of my house at night but there they were, out in the open in the middle of the day. It was like they were everywhere. I wanted to run and hide…

"Sure."

They were following me, they were all around me…

"Great, I gotta ask you something."

Drowning me, suffocating me…

"Did you hear what I said?"

"Huh?"

"I asked, if you could get away, would you?"

… What kind of question was that?

"What do you mean?"

"Like go on an adventure or something."  
"Duh, who wouldn't want to get out of this hellhole."

Weird.

* * *

I had two more strange encounters with my friends that day.

"Juliet,"

"Hm?" I was busy making notes in my music for future reference.

"Whaddya want outta life?"

"I dunno," I muttered, absentmindedly gnawing at the end of my pencil. "Get rich, afford to move to Europe, immerse myself in culture and history? That sounds about right, what about you?"

"Hm, I dunno."

* * *

And then the last one on the bus home,

"Hey Jewels, what are you afraid of?" I refused to look up at Penny.

"Being alone." My response earned me a hug.

And it was like that my fate was sealed. My journey began at dawn.

Looking back on it all now, had I known that it would be my last day with my friends and family like that, my last day on Earth, I would've made it a little more special, made cookies or something. But those questions had planted an idea in my head, escape, and I just couldn't stop thinking about how wonderful it would be if my friends and I could just hang out every day and none of us had to worry about our parents and their problems. To go on an adventure, to live life like a video game.


End file.
